- Aug 26

The Art of the Nickname

Some nicknames are based on a person’s initials, their last name, or a physical attribute. Some of the best nicknames, though, are earned due to a past event or withstanding a certain event.

For example, I would wager that most people with the nickname “Lightning” have survived a run-in with the atmospheric event. There was a “Lightning” in my hometown. The story goes that he was mowing his lawn when a bolt of lightning hit a nearby fence and then struck the lawnmower before it got to him. The lawnmower saved him from being killed but didn’t save him from the inevitable nickname that would follow him for the rest of his days.

One of my high school classmates stuck a paperclip in an electrical outlet freshman year and earned the nickname “Sparky” for the rest of his school years. If I remember right, his nickname-worthy event happened during shop class too. I don’t remember if it was before the safety test or after, but hopefully before.

At a previous job, I was told about co-workers “Spike” and “Snake.” I was starting to wonder what kind of place I had signed onto when an older man with grey hair walked in the door and introduced himself as “Spike.” Turns out he was nicknamed as such because he was so tall and thin as a youngster. He was one of the kindest and most soft-spoken people I’ve ever met.

Much to my surprise, “Snake” was another older man with grey hair. He worked in engineering and made fresh chocolate chip cookies for the trick-or-treaters every Halloween. He could also somehow make sales managers, salesmen, and the vice president of engineering see things his way. I always thought that was why he was called “Snake.” Then he retired. On his last day, an offhand remark made him laugh out loud. He sounded like Lewis Skolnick from “Revenge of the Nerds.” Google it if you don’t remember. My theory changed then and there to include someone making fun of him for the way he laughed. I never found out the true origin of his nickname, we had a good working relationship but I didn’t want to jeopardize it by asking.

There is a level of risk when acquiring a nickname, you just have to make sure you survive it. One of my cousins refers to me as “Crash.” He had a fancy red sports car when I was just legal to drive. He drove his car to a family gathering and gave me the chance to drive it.

Years later his mom still laughed herself to tears remembering the look on his face as I drove it out of the yard. I never put a scratch on it but the nickname survived and so did his car.